It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.” -Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities

For me this is a daily occurrence as planning for retirement or transition brings these emotions on a very regular basis.

I often describe my days as a roller coaster of mixed emotions, moving through a cycle of euphoria ( “the best of times”) to ambivalence and then to panic ( “the worst of times”). During a day I find myself excited about my future, a period post retirement from my firm, relaxed that I’ll be able to fill my days with gainful activity and then frightened that I am not properly prepared or ready.

In those times when I am looking forward to the next phase, it can be the best of times. No more time sheets, budgets, and relentless pressure to grow the business. My excitement also comes from the opportunities I have before me.

University the opportunity to learn, complete my Honours, start a PHD, research and teach. These are all things that over the last 12 months I have come to enjoy. I feel confident that my network of contacts will engage with me in a way that neither they nor I have before, providing me new and exciting opportunities. I’ll have more time for travel and riding my bike.

I then cycle through feelings of ambivalence arising from the assumption that it will all work its way through and I’ll be OK.

But then there is the fear of the unknown, the worst of times. Sheer panic!

What happens if I don’t like it. I’m moving from the cocoon of a very large firm where I am relevant to perhaps being completely irrelevant. How will I feel about that? What happens if I can’t afford to live the way I want too? What happens if my planning simply doesn’t pay off? What happens if I don’t continue to enjoy my study, it’s too hard and I can’t make a success of teaching? What happens if I my network no longer engages with me after I no longer have my Partner badge? It’s very scary!

So yes on a daily basis I experience both the best and worst of times.

Daily Prompt – Extreme Tale